Promotionalist/Socialist - With Boobs (Lower East Side) Date: 2009-08-24, 3:56PM EDT Reply to: gigs-2t635-1340069444@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] We are a band that will be competing in a Battle of the Bands at the Crash Mansion in late September. What we need is simple, yet so very important. We require an amply breasted and significantly attractive woman (or women) who can hand out flyers for our band, talk us up to people in the bar and help us get the votes we need to win this battle. Before you get upset at this request, let's talk this out. When a guy is at the bar drinking beer with his buddies and lying about his latest triumph over some unrealistically hot chick, what's the only thing that can break them from their college-like trance and get their attention? Big beautiful boobs. It's not even an opinion, it's a fact. Mythbuster's recently did a show about this and they determined that 98% of all guys can be convinced to do just about anything if the requester happens to have some serious boobage going on. The 2% that weren't swayed were either gay or borderline I-think-I-might-be-gay. And what is so wrong about an attractive woman utilizing her assets to her advantage? Or for that matter, for OUR advantage! Nothing! So if you have delicious boobs, a beautiful personality and you like to jam out with your clam out, then get in touch with us and we'll start talking about how we can make this work.
If you're a big-boobed babe who's hard up for dough and doesn't mind hanging out with douchebags, then this is the gig for you! Except it's not a paying gig, unless you consider basking in the creative glow of an unsigned band payment. Or maybe the money thing is no biggie if you just like to "jam out with your clam out" as the ad states. What an offer!

I really appreciate how they supported their point with stats from Mythbusters. When hypnotized by massive set of mammaries, a (straight) man's mind becomes an empty vessel into which your message will flow. Wait till the boys on Madison Ave get wind of this!

Maybe the poster should have put this on CL Cuba. I hear there are loads of amply breasted "socialists" down there who could use some extra scratch.

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