There's a new name in terrible music and they're called the Gold Diggin' Divas.

I'm firmly placing the blame on Rebecca Black for causing this mess. Her craptacular "Friday" video surpassed 167 million views on Youtube before it was pulled down on June 17, which unbelievably ranked it in the Top 20 most viewed of all time. Clearly the Divas are putting their worst foot forward here with their own entry into the dog-eat-dog world of terrible tunes.

If "Friday" is the Showgirls of music videos, "Codependent" would be more like Cruel Intentions 2. It sounds like a good idea, but doesn't hold up to repeat viewings and ultimately leaves you feeling kind of creeped out.

In their own sage words: "if you ain't ballin' siddown."

What would you do if you found this in your inbox? If you were me, you'd craft an extremely creative response, hit "send" and watch what happens.

hey joe hope all is well in japan and that ur inspired another nation! thinking of u and wishing you the best of luck in ur travels mister! back in college trying to work hard and put my heart in it but i dunno... email me back and tell all of this amazing country!!! also will u keep an eye out for traveling oppertunities for me please????? love u loads carmel x x x<br />Obviously this email wasn't intended for me. But, oddly enough, I get a lot of emails like this. I'm not really sure why, but if I had to guess, I'd say it is because my Gmail address is only seven letters: two initials and a five-letter last name. There are probably dozens or hundreds of email addresses identical to mine except for one letter. So if Capt. Chubby Thumbs types a "d" instead" of an "e", I get the email. Most of the time I ignore them, but this time I couldn't resist writing back. All of the "misters", the punctuation, the spelling... I had a feeling this this one would be fun. I was bored at work anyway, and I needed a laugh. Soooooooooo:

Hey Carmel, Japan is awesome!!  I'm eating lots of sushi and doing karaoke every night.  These Japs sure know how to party, let me tell you! My favorite thing about Japan so far is those crazy harajuku girls with thier funky outfits.  That Gwen Stefani is sure onto something! Hope college is going well for you.  Just remember that studying is only a small, insignificant part of the college experience.  Getting shit-faced as much as possible is very important too! Don't miss me too much, babe.  If you do, just look at the little picture of us that's inside the keychain--remember, the one we took with Goofy at Disney World last year? Always in my heart, Joewhat are u on about? i wasnt in disney world with u ever. i dont swear?and u wouldnt call ur sister babe!!!! so who is this???Obviously I'm not her brother, why would she even respond? I love the stream of consciousness thinking: first confusion, then suspicion, then panic. "Who is this???" I'll never tell you Detective Carmel!

Carmel, babe, what's wrong?  You sound mad. I didn't know you were my sister I swear!  I thought you That was the last I heard from Carmel. I thought we had a thing going, what gives, babe?

The gays of Fire Island made their own video to Miley Cyrus' "Party In The USA". Too cute. Glad to see them up to something creative for once. Good job guys!

I hate myself for saying this, but this Miley song isn't totally terrible either. She sounds like a teenage girl for once, not a truck driver with a hankering for Marlboro Reds.


The commercial says you can get awesome abs by trying to maintain your balance on this swively chair, but I'm not convinced.

I would like more examples of people doing stuff on the Hawaii Chair: drinking a cup of coffee, reading a book, getting a haircut, telling a knock knock joke, writing calligraphy, building a ship-in-a-bottle, or playing Jenga. Stuff like that.

It would also be cool to see it used in a porn (just sayin').

Promotionalist/Socialist - With Boobs (Lower East Side) Date: 2009-08-24, 3:56PM EDT Reply to: [Errors when replying to ads?] We are a band that will be competing in a Battle of the Bands at the Crash Mansion in late September. What we need is simple, yet so very important. We require an amply breasted and significantly attractive woman (or women) who can hand out flyers for our band, talk us up to people in the bar and help us get the votes we need to win this battle. Before you get upset at this request, let's talk this out. When a guy is at the bar drinking beer with his buddies and lying about his latest triumph over some unrealistically hot chick, what's the only thing that can break them from their college-like trance and get their attention? Big beautiful boobs. It's not even an opinion, it's a fact. Mythbuster's recently did a show about this and they determined that 98% of all guys can be convinced to do just about anything if the requester happens to have some serious boobage going on. The 2% that weren't swayed were either gay or borderline I-think-I-might-be-gay. And what is so wrong about an attractive woman utilizing her assets to her advantage? Or for that matter, for OUR advantage! Nothing! So if you have delicious boobs, a beautiful personality and you like to jam out with your clam out, then get in touch with us and we'll start talking about how we can make this work.
If you're a big-boobed babe who's hard up for dough and doesn't mind hanging out with douchebags, then this is the gig for you! Except it's not a paying gig, unless you consider basking in the creative glow of an unsigned band payment. Or maybe the money thing is no biggie if you just like to "jam out with your clam out" as the ad states. What an offer!

I really appreciate how they supported their point with stats from Mythbusters. When hypnotized by massive set of mammaries, a (straight) man's mind becomes an empty vessel into which your message will flow. Wait till the boys on Madison Ave get wind of this!

Maybe the poster should have put this on CL Cuba. I hear there are loads of amply breasted "socialists" down there who could use some extra scratch.


I had some serious secondhand embarrassment (0:50 anyone?) after watching this dude is having a nerdgasm over that phone. He needs pussy bad. Fuck eHarmony, someone get him together with her.

He kind of looks like a cross between Stephen Hawking and Stephen Colbert, no?

You're looking at the hit of the summer ladies and gents. If 2007 was the summer of shoes, 2009 is the summer of the candy bra! WERQ!

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